She was awakened by a hard slap and her face turned red. She was startled to meet her father’s fiery eyes.
“What time is it? Why are you still in bed?” he asked fiercely with the hand in the air giving warning for another strike.
She quickly went out of bed… confused. Downstairs she observed that everybody is waiting for her. She walks slowly, meeting blank stares.
The scene was no longer new to her.
“Who fed the dog last night?” her father asked furiously.
Though the question is addressed to everybody, she knows it’s directed to her. She looked up and almost gasped as she met again the threatening look in her father’s eyes. She was tongue-tied and she still could feel her heavy eyes as if blocking her mind to answer.
After a long silence…
“I – I… father…” At last, she found her tongue.
“Then why the hell did you not inform me? It seems didn’t eat at all last night?
Her sisters were staring at her intently. Her mother was not looking but she could hear what his husband was saying though her hands were busy manipulating the sewing machine at the corner of the house.
Now she knew it. She was awakened by a slap just to answer this stupid question.
She, with all indignation, she managed to say…
“Because I don’t think it is important, father. Aside from that, feeding the dogs last night was Freda’s duty; it was not supposed to be mine.” She said defiantly.
Her father glanced at her, and then met Freda’s eyes.
Freda just bowed her head and started clasping her sweating palms. She looked at Freda and a sudden panic filled her heart.
She knew, she could feel it she would be punished. Asking for help is of no use.
Her father’s gaze turned back to her.
“That is no a valid reason!” Her father shouted. She almost jump off her feet.
Her answer only added to his father’s anger. It made her father pull the leather belt around his waist and grabbed her.
He beat her several times as hard as he could mercilessly. As she closed her eyes, she could feel the pain of grudge and hatred long kept in her heart.
The hard leather was still beating.
She could not remember their father being so kind to them. She knew that he gave them everything. Financially, yes. But he never showed affection to all of them. Not even to their mother. He’s always been strict and tough and hard. His eyes are as cold as ice and his voice as hard as stone.
She could stand it no more.
“Enough father! Enough!” she cried out.
Her mother and sisters couldn’t do anything. They knew in their hearts that they could not do something to stop the outburst of the man they used to love… thought they do and always will.
Her father is the only voice in the house. His decisions, once made can never be broken. They could not cross the line and destroy the wall he built between them.
“Why are you doing this to me, Father? You’re unfair!!” She asked, heartbroken.
She ran to her room, still crying her heart out.
At the sala, she could hear the low voice of her kind mother trying to assuage her father.
“How could I observe that dog when it is now dead?!”, said he.
“Ernesto, your daughter doesn’t intend it to happen. She didn’t even know that the dog would die. Please stop and control your anger. Remember your highblood pressure!”, her mother said with concern.
“Yes! That is the prize of having no sons but having four daughters instead!”, he said pointing to his three daughters… standing still.
“Listen the three of you. Whoever dare disobey me and disgrace me will only receive the prize I intend to give. No one in this house will ever have the permission to damn question me!!! Do I make myself clear?”
They all nodded and bowed their heads in helplessness.
He went upstairs retracing his eldest daughter’s steps. He commanded her to dig and make a grave near the banana plant, at the back of the house.
From the corner, she stood up and headed to their backyard. She looked for the shovel and carried it on her shoulder. There—she found the dog… lifeless. Insects were swarming at its body.
“How I wish it was you father!”, she murmured. She began digging. In that very instant, memories of the past flooded in her mind.
It was her High School Christmas party. Her father allowed her to attend the party on the condition that she will be home before nine o’clock in the evening. But she enjoyed the night that she forgot the time. Nine o’clock is too early to be home.
Her friends accompanied her on her way home. They were so happy. Laughing and teasing and giggling. She was not aware of someone at the backdoor waiting for her. It was her father. A strong blow of hand hit her.
She was so embarrassed that tears filled her eyes and damped her cheeks. He ordered her to get inside the house. And as a punishment, she was never allowed to have friends nor go out for fun. She lived on a house-to-school and school-to-house routine.
“Do not stop until the hole is knee-deep!”, her father shouted from a distance.
Her hands were aching and swollen. She felt that her palms were almost hard and tired but she didn’t dare stop.
She looked at the dog.
You’re so lucky Vronsky because you’re now at peace… away from pain and suffering!”
Freda came closer to her and helped her bury the dog.
“Vronsky died maybe because father hit him several times few days ago after it bit him.” Freda said.
They were covering the dog’s grave when they heard their mother shouting....
“Ernesto! Ernesto!”
“Somebody help us!”
“Let’s take your father to the hospital!”, mother cried hysterically.
They ran to the house almost immediately, and there, they found their father lying unconsciously.
She cringed inwardly.
They brought their father to the hospital with the help of their neighbors.
Still in shock, she couldn’t interpret the emotions filling her heart. At the moment, she wished her father to be the dog she buried a while ago.
“No! I must not feel guilty!” she said.
She knows that in her heart, she still loves her father no matter how unkind and cold he was to them. She always longed to feel her father’s hug and affection. But he seemed to be distant and cold and uncaring.
Few hours later, the doctor emerged.
“How is my husband doctor?”, mother asked nervously.
The doctor was silent, and she dreaded the words that he would utter.
